I decided to write up a little personal post today - something I don't normally do - but wanted to jot down my heart so I can look back a year or two from now and remember where I was, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling. Currently, I am pregnant with my third baby and have 2 weeks left until my due date. ahhhhh - (I say this often, but I don't feel old enough to be a mom far less a mom of almost three children!)
Each pregnancy has been a new experience. With your first, it's a whole new world and all you can feel is joy. Every minute you are learning something new...the joy and excitement of becoming a mother, how to be a mother, and how to care for a child. That moment your brand new baby is placed in your arms has to be one of the greatest moments of life! There is absolutely no greater love. With the second pregnancy, I felt confident. I kept telling myself I was an expert now... or so I had thought. I figured my first baby had taught me EVERYTHING there was to becoming a mother but the moment my son came to this world, real life happened. Everything was different! I struggled with breastfeeding (unlike my first who I was able to nurse for a year), I struggled with emotions of uncertainty, I definitely struggled with bits of postpartum and add on the needs of my toddler, I thought I was going to be sent to the nut house! During those first few months, being a mom was the hardest thing that I had ever known. Moments even today I think about some of those dark days and realized what kept me going was the Lord telling me, Melissa, this is only for a season. Trust Me. And boy was He right. Now, 2.5 years later, I look back and think where in the world did that time go. My little man, the most snuggly and loving little guy, is about to be a middle child.
With this third pregnancy, my husband and I decided from the beginning we didn't want to find out the sex of this baby since we already have the best of both worlds. Until now, it's actually been an amazing experience. It really didn't matter if we were having a boy or a girl, if the crib was fully done, the clothes were perfectly hung in place - labeled by size - or if I needed all frilly pink items or blue Sperry's. I just needed to be in the moment and enjoy the last days with my little family of four. The only thing I truly have cared about was making sure this baby was healthy and that my pregnancy flew by. Mission accomplished! I can't believe in a short time, I will be holding this little person in my arms!
So now as the countdown begins ... two weeks left until my due date... those uncertainties and emotions begin to flood my heart and mind again. I am a mom. A job that is valued the least but yet the most important position there could ever be. My kids won't remember the food I made for dinner last week (thank goodness because I am NOT a good cook) but they will remember me jumping on the trampoline, going on a bike ride, throwing the football with them, and playing hide and seek. And I can't help but bring this all back to sleep coaching. Those long nights and long days are difficult. Emotions are high and exhaustion is a very real thing. Desperation sets in (and why we are here to help) but just remember, it's will be okay. This is not the end, it's only for a season. Your baby will learn to sleep at some point - hopefully before they are teenagers...but if not, thats ok. Just learn to be in the present. Take time for your family. Enjoy these moments when your children are little because supposedly these days, as hard as they are, they are the most precious!